Twenty thousand eight hundred fifty- seven.

Twenty thousand eight hundred fifty- seven.

By: Spun

Synopsis: Magnus is a too honest drunker, Alec doubts about himself and didn’t sleep the enough, Maia gives a bad advice and Jace eats a sandwich. Summarized in one phrase: “So do you think that he’s going to leave you for a better fuck?”

Yeah, so I was supposed to upload this  three months ago, but school is such a bitch :v

This is actually the transalation of the translation of the real fic, 'cause the author deleted it from her account.

Sooooo, I dunno own anything. Everything goes to the respective author (Spun on fanfiction.net)

It's dedicated to @brilh221 in twitter. I promised it bby ♥

I'll post another to compensate you! But... actully the other was writter by me. So pls be gentle :v

Sorry for my bad english. I'm only 17 years old (?????????????)

BTW hope you enjoy it. 

(Sorry for the mistakes, it's 1:44 am and I'm listening "Let her go" so my mind is flying away :B)

2:38 a.m.

Magnus wasn’t behaving stranger when he was drunk when he was sober. Alec wasn’t surprised - Magnus usually acted as if he had taken a few drinks too many, then why should it be different when it really happened?  It was a little cuddlier, a little droopy, and sometimes it started very bizarre conversations (such as they had had a few weeks ago about how pineapples, and apples had nothing in common) but that was it.

“You know,” Magnus said suddenly, turning a lock of Alec’s hair between his fingers, “I love you.”

Although, when he started with his spontaneous declarations of love, was a sign that he was very drunk and on his way to “talk to inanimate objects." On an average day Magnus told Alec that he loved him three or four times. Tonight took more than thirty-six. And Alec had just arrived at the apartment about an hour ago.

“I’m serious, " Magnus continued. He was lying on the Shadowhunter as a flashing, pointed mantle, her head on Alec’s chest, and with no effort slid up, so that the two were face to face. “Right now we are very close"

“Yes... "

“Very close.” Magnus dropped and placed his forehead against Alec. "I ...” he began, with the air of someone who is about to say an important speech, "I can see your contact lenses.”

Alec closed his eyes. “Ok, Magnus, that's really weird. Are you sure you're just drunk? "

“Collapse schizophrenia chemistry and induced form has not been on my list of “to do “since the sixties.” Smiling angelically, Magnus kissed him on the cheek and then settled his head in the crook neck Alec. "Don’t worry; you'll forgive the shameless review myself, because I love you more.”

“More than what?” Alec yawned. He was terribly tired – Jace, Clary, Isabelle and he had spent the last seven hours tracking elusive two Defilers only to be deprived of a fight when both ended up in the same alley and killed each other. Jace and Isabelle were rather disappointed. Alec had been determined to go home and get to bed, but Magnus called, happy and lively, and asking him to come to his apartment, and it was not like he could say no, so he went.

Magnus sighed dramatically, his breath hitting Alec skin. "More than all the others with whom I've slept, obviously"

AllTheOthers. Alec blinked at the ceiling, unaware of Magnus’s fingers playing with the edge of his shirt. AllTheOthers?  Magnus was much older, it was stupid to think he'd never had anyone before, but still ... "all others” sounded like it had been a lot before.

The words flowed from his mouth before deciding it was a bad idea to say them. "With how many other people have you been anyway?”

"Um ..." Magnus pressed his lips ... and then began to count on his fingers.

Alec watched for a minute. When Magnus spent the hundredth said, “Magnus?”

"Shhh!”

“I just -”

Magnus raised his hand and frowned. "Wait, come back in a second " He rolled off the couch with an amazing control of his body, considering its current state, and walked to the kitchen, where he began to search through all the drawers.

"It isn’t so important," Alec said as he sat, but Magnus was back, with calculator in hand. He had told him once that Alec had stopped calling things invoke while drunk, even from the next room, after an accident with a pig and a jar of strawberry jelly, and always refused to give extra details when the subject left. "Look, forget it -”

“No, no, just give me a moment.” Magnus sat down and began to push the buttons of the calculator. “Hm ... no, that's wrong ... wait ... ok, I got it! “He enthused. “I’ve slept with about twenty thousand eight hundred fifty-seven people.”

Alec froze.

"Without having twins, repetitions or long-term relationships,” Magnus said.

Alec’s voice had gone to hide somewhere quiet and dark place with his confidence, but he managed to say, "Twenty thousand, eight hundred ... fifty-seven?”

The warlock gave him the calculator, and Alec took it, noting that this was giddily a bright and very pink glitter. It wasn’t that he expected something different. The display will read 20857.14286. "What I rounded down.” Magnus said, “As I have never known before that particular fraction of a person, let alone slept with one. Though I think it would be an interesting experience. "

Twenty thousand eight hundred fifty-seven. That was twenty thousand, eight hundred fifty-six people over which Alec had ever been. It was about twenty thousand, eight hundred people over which even Alec knew.

Part of his anguish must have noticed on his face, because Magnus took the calculator and threw it on the coffee table. "Not much,” he said, ruffling the hair of Alec and stroking his cheek with his thumb. "Most of them do not mean anything”

Alec took a deep breath and told himself he had to overcome. It was obvious that Magnus had slept with a lot of people, had lived more than eight hundred years. "Okay. Okay. “He wasn’t going to be picky and childish with this. Magnus was breathing on his neck again, his lips barely touching the bottom of his jaw, and he was going to stop thinking and would enjoy what was left of the night. Really. Except, again, his mouth was five blocks ahead of your brain and still gaining speed. “Am I the best person with whom you been?”

Magnus stood with his "work" to consider. "Um ... well, I probably put in the better half of twenty thousand. You're getting good at it. “Then, almost as if he reflect, said, "And I like the fact that they do not have a gag reflex.”

The dignity of Alec went to join his voice and confidence. He imagined them sitting around a small fire, talking about how they were terribly disgraced by someone who was supposed to love them. And they were toasting marshmallows because marshmallows made ​​everything look better.

Apparently, feeling that it hadn’t been left as a compliment, Magnus leaned against Alec and rubbed his hair like some kind of shiny puppy. “Does it really matter?”

“No." Alec lied. He wished he had some marshmallows.

"Fine!” Magnus smiled so brightly that Alec almost felt bad for being offended. “Because no matter. You’re not annoyed. Yet, you're okay with this? “Asked, sliding a hand on Alec’s shirt and stroking his side, cold fingers coming to the end, at the top of his pants.

Alec really thought about saying no - aloud and tell him exactly why was he annoyed too loud. But, knowing Magnus not remember this as clearly in a few hours, and it would be a waste of time if not concerned yell. So he shrugged, smiled vaguely, and decided, while Magnus closed the distance between their lips, they were going to have a long talk later.

7:07 a.m.

Magnus woke up with a headache he knew he deserved and did not regret.

Ooh. Ouch. He yawned and rolled onto his back, rubbing the sleep in his eyes. The memories of the night before were blurred - had gone to that party under the guise of ' socializing ' , when really he just wanted to get drunk to remove from his mind the fact that there were almost five days since he saw Alec. It must have worked. He vaguely remembered having gone home ... he had rested a while on the couch ... Alec had appeared, which had done wonders to his mood ... and there had been sex. He was sure he heard Alec mutter something about marshmallows at some point, but he could not put it in any context and dismissed the idea.

He combed his hair with his fingers and grimaced his sweaty and sticky feeling - definitely he needed a shower - Magnus gave another yawn able to break his jaw and stretched to the left side of the bed.

His fingers found empty air and savannas, which obviously had no warmth in some time.

Magnus raised his head slightly to look unconcernedly on the pile of sheets and cover beds. If any of them do not wake up in the usual tangle of limbs was usually because Alec had rolled off the mattress at some point in the night and was sleeping on the floor. Magnus had not thought about having a real bed for that very reason.

When he found no unruly mop of black hair anywhere, Magnus fully up and frowned. The bathroom door was open and the lights were off, so he removed that option. Chairman Meow, who always followed Alec as if he were the provider of food, toys and caresses, was dozing on the Shadowhunter pillow. It was only seven. Who would want to be somewhere else that was not in bed by seven o’clock?

Wait. Had he done something stupid the night before? Magnus used to be brutally honest when he was drunk, and sometimes Alec made questions whose answers he did not really want to know, and if mix those habits ... but there had been sex, probably Magnus had said nothing  he had to apologize or just Alec was not offended .

Although that did not explain where Alec was. Magnus’s brain was starting to feel like cotton candy. Giving up for the moment, he scratched behind Chairman Meow ears, getting an insulted look as ' how you dare to touch me without my permission,' and walked away to the bathroom without tripping over anything.

After a hot ten minutes shower, Magnus did not feel like a slug, but as the very fabulous and attractive warlock he was. He dried his hair with a snap of his fingers and had begun to search his toothbrush when something occurred to him.

What if he had said something stupid after sex?

"Damn it!” Forgetting his teeth, Magnus returned to the bedroom and grabbed his pants he'd been wearing the day before. They looked clean enough, and did not really need a shirt and pants to went down, he  threw open the bedroom door , and took three steps into the hall.

He came up with two things.

One: Where the hell was going anyway?

Two: The living room smelled of coffee.

Magnus let out a sigh of relief. There was coffee. If there was coffee or Alec was still there or had friendly burglar on his kitchen. Feeling a little fool for becoming crazy (even if no one had seen), he began to walk again. In reality, he draw conclusions only because he had woken up with a bed partner less (the other was Chairman Meow)? He was becoming one of those people, who need to know where your partner was every second of the day and be loving and needy and handcuffed each other.

Magnus stopped just one step away from the kitchen, thinking about that last, and decided that maybe the alcohol had not entirely disappeared yet. Maybe he should go back to bed. Although as he was already awake, clean and partially clothed, could well take advantage of caffeine. I had only slept three hours.

Alec was sitting on the island, giving back to the door, staring at an old blue cup full of coffee as if he expected that this would give all the answers in the universe look. If he knew something, he was not talking. Magnus crossed the room and kissed the top of his head. Alec’s hair was wet - well, that explained why this morning he did not have to abuse the shower to get hot water. He gave himself an 'F ' in ' Being Observer ‘. “Good morning, love.”

“Hello.” Alec muttered, turning his cup over and over in his hands. It looked up.

“If you're trying to stir it, spoon serves more.” Magnus said, continuing towards the Holy Grail of Hot Drinks with Caffeine.

Instead of saying something, Alec began to add sugar to his coffee. Magnus looked at him with a slight frown - he had never seen Alec putting something in his coffee. The warlock had once suggested him to save time and just chew coffee beans, only to find that he had already tried that, apparently, it was just not the same.

"I have a spoon.” Alec finally said, grabbing and shaking it for emphasis. Then put it in the cup and spun in circles.

“Ah.” Ok, now it was possible that his paranoid theories had a grain of truth in them. Alec was always obnoxiously cheerful and lively in the mornings, even when he had spent every night last week taking care of the swarm of demons that had arisen in Manhattan. Magnus poured his own coffee, set the empty bowl in the sink, and turned to lean on the counter and reflect on the abnormally quiet Shadowhunter. “Is something wrong? “.

Alec’s gaze rose to him briefly, and then returned to the cup. He threw another tablespoon of sugar in it. “No."

Judging by the tone of his voice, it was like ' no' really means ‘yes’. Magnus began mentally count down from ten.

It reached number four before Alec abruptly stopped stirring his coffee and said,

"With how many other people have you been besides me?”

Magnus blinked. ThatWasWhatHeWereTalkingAbout? Shit. If he answered honestly, the risk of opening a big can of worms would be an option, but by the tone of Alec, he already had. Weighed his options - to lie and expect him not to say anything or to say that he had had many relationships one night he had lost count after four. Neither implied escape without being launched something. Damn, damn, damn. "I honestly do not know.” answered, hoping that this was the lesser of two evils. "Many suppose. Why? "

Alec shrugged. It took another spoonful of sugar in your cup. "Yesterday you gave me a fairly accurate number.”

Shit! The next time you get drunk, use duct tape would keep his mouth shut.

“Alec, I do not remember now, and I'm sober, at least mostly. Probably just made ​​it up. "

More sugar. The spoon was grinding, loud, against the grain of this pottery. "Twenty thousand, eight hundred fifty-seven.”

"That sounds like I made it.”

“You used a calculator.” Alec took the said object from a pocket of his pants and placed it on the counter. Magnus picked it. "Even I deciphered how you got that number.”

(800 x 365) / 14 was the ' formula ' for statistics Magnus, who also had a couple of extra digits after the decimal point.

The warlock watched the calculator for a minute. He suspected it was assumed that only a new partner every two weeks was very generous. The actual number was probably closer to thirty thousand, but certainly he was not going to say that right now, not when Alec was looking as if it were to be used for archery.

Magnus put the calculator back and slid over to the island, without breaking eye contact. "I've been around for a long time, dear.” He said. He opened the refrigerator, took out the milk, and gave a little to his forgotten coffee. “And it's not like you have taken a vow of celibacy at some point.”

“Twenty thousand is a lot.”

"Not really.” It was true - Magnus knew a warlock of his age, Tim, who had a goal in life to sleep with every woman he knew. If wizards did not have an inhumanly tough immune system, he would probably have died from an overload of sexual diseases when going from one hundred and thirteen.

Alec sighed. “Well. Whatever. “As if to prove that the conversation was over , took a sip of his coffee and then spit it back into the cup, looking so disgusted that Magnus had to bite his lip to keep from laughing . " Yuck. “He got up and threw it. The muddy lot of sugar was at the bottom hit the sink with a splat.

Magnus drank his coffee cooked perfectly, looking as grim Alec watched his empty cup. “Look, I understand why you’re upset, but I -”

"I'm not upset!”

Not believing, Magnus raised his eyebrows. “Is there anything else?”

“No."

"Are you -?”

Alec hit the cup will sink with more force than necessary "Just forget it! I 'm going home. “Then, before Magnus could say anything, he left the kitchen. A moment later the apartment door slammed.

Magnus noticed that his mouth was open and closed it. "Shit," he said, placing his coffee on the counter. What else could be admitted, drunkenly, that had bothered Alec?

Sighing, he sat in the empty chair where Alec was, frowned at the small pink calculator. Twenty thousand, eight hundred fifty-seven. Magnus wondered if he could remember the last fifteen.

11:00 a.m.

Alec just wished he had not gone when he closed the door behind him, but the last pieces of his pride demanded that he keep walking. So, he had wandered Brooklyn for a while. By the time he realized he had left his contact lenses in the bathroom counter and that was why whatever was more than three steps of his face became a blur, he had managed to be very lost. He took three and a half hours to find the way home.

The Institute was silent when he got off the elevator. His parents were stuck in Idris for the weekend and Jace and Isabelle were probably still sleeping. In fact, sleep sounded like a worthwhile pursuit. Even after going to bed with Magnus, about four, had lain awake, trying to figure out what to do with the new and rather unwanted information hitting your brain with a stick. He had risen at six -thirty, believing that Magnus would leave soon by someone who was better in bed.

It was a very irrational conclusion, and he knew it. Every time he thought about it, and said it was exactly how stupid it was - had been together for almost five months and Magnus had not tired of it yet, but maybe that just meant he would soon. Given its history, being with one person for five months was unprecedented.

Realizing where his thoughts were going, Alec started massaging his forehead with his knuckles. Shut up! You’re being an idiot! He walked down the hall as quietly as he could, he locked himself in his room and collapsed on the bed without even bothering to take off her coat or boots.

Ok, it was time to deal with this rationally. Magnus was not going to quit. Especially, Magnus would not leave him alone for he had no experience. It was so superficial. Unless it were. Maybe that would explain why he liked the bright hair Alec.

"Damn it!” Alec shouted. Why don’t you stop listening to your brain and stop thinking about that?

There was a sudden noise, as if someone had kicked one wall. "I'm trying to sleep here!” Jace yelled.

"Sorry," Alec said, just loud enough to be heard in the next room, then put the pillow over his head and pressed his face against the mattress.

Sleeping. He had been awake for almost thirty hours straight. He needed to turn off his brain and sleep. He dropped the pillow, letting it fall gently to the ground, and pulled the comforter to place around. Thanks to his antics at dawn six days of night work, was sore and tired, his eyes ached from having squinted before traffic signals for the last three hours. He would sleep. All he has to do was sleep.

11:44 a.m.

Magnus sat on the island with a white sheet of paper and a black pen.

It was inferred that there was absolutely no way to remember twenty thousand people, ever, but as this was bothering him maybe he could find few couples could remember. Therefore, when he was completely sober, he fed the cat, and found something to eat; he was set to begin his work thoroughly.

He decided to take the easy way - start with the most recent and work backwards.

1. Alec.

That was a good start. He smiled at the name and drew a happy little face beside it.

Two, Jamie.

Three, The guy at the bar with a sexy accent. His name started with a G or D, or something.

The number four was Jamie again, but if it included all instances would be there forever. Magnus hit his lips with the pencil, deep in thought. There were Brittany, Rachel, Josh from the pool, the two fairies living in her downstairs, Emily ... Tim reluctantly added to the list, despite how much he tried to suppress that memory. That was probably the worst experience in the last two hundred years. He had advised to stick to women.

He had slept with Antoinette like a million times. Katie. Michael. A man who looked a lot like Brad Pitt, but it was not to be. Another Katie, this was small and rather high redhead and brunette.

This was easier than he had thought it would. Magnus wondered if that was good or bad.

12:20 p.m.

Sleeping was a lost cause.

2:53 p.m.

Isabelle put the orange juice back into the refrigerator and shut the door, humming to herself. She had heard a song last week at Macy's and had been stuck in her head ever since. Maybe Simon could not say that song was - would have to ask when she saw him tonight. And speaking of tonight, Alec really needed to find some clothes that were not pajamas trousers and shirt strips. You could put it in the right mood, but could do much better than that.

Isabelle took two steps into the living room and walked directly toward her brother.

“Sorry.” He said quickly, “I was not paying attention.”

Alec just nodded to one side and looked like a particularly interesting piece of furniture that had just started to talk to him. Isabelle stared - had been pretty weird that day. The whole issue of " going around in a cloud " was normal, especially considering we had spent the night with Magnus , but usually not seen as dark when he was spinning in that cloud . Maybe they had fought. Perhaps the sex was really bad, but she knew that if she mentioned that, he would be nervous and insist that none of this had happened. Isabelle had no idea that his brother kept denying it, it was as though all they knew.

He left and snaked his way to the window. Without turning his head toward her, he asked, "You don’t have to answer this, but can I make you a very personal and invasive question?"

Isabelle shrugged. “Yeah, sure.” Jace made ​​her personal and invasive questions all the time, usually without warning.

“How many people have you slept with?”

There were many things that Isabelle never expected to get out of Alec’s mouth. These cannon had reached the top of the list, had crowned himself as king, and had begun to establish a government and currency. She blinked a few times - and, out of curiosity (and probably a healthy dose of masochism), she asked, “Why do you want to know?”

"Scientific interest" said flatly.

Pure.Shit. "And what you plan to do with this information?”

“Nothing... I just want to know. “He ran his fingers through his hair, leaving bristling at the end.”You have to tell me, I have just curiosity. "

Isabelle thought. For one, she had kept his "sexual adventures” in secret because if your parents found out, would not let her return to never leave home unless they accompany her nuns. On the other hand , as long as not to give specific details about who she'd slept , they had little chance of finding one of his ex dead in a dumpster with “big brother-over protective” injuries . And she really wanted to know why he was so interested. “If this comes to mom and dad, I'll know that it was you and you’ll suffer the consequences," he warned. “Ok? Over two ... but less than seven. "

She smiled sweetly as he turned to face her. “You asked.”

Alec gaped at her for a moment, but then single "OMG" lamented and left the room, leaving her bewildered sister behind.

"What's the problem?”

Isabelle turned to see Jace leaning against the doorframe, munching a sandwich, looking completely unconcerned. "He finally lost his mind," she said.

Jace raised an eyebrow. "Do not be ridiculous. You cannot lose something you never had. "

“That’s true. How much did you hear? "

“Enough.” A piece of lettuce was getting out of the sandwich. Jace grabbed him before it fell and put it onto his mouth. "I must say I'm impressed.”

“Thank you. Hopefully you have not lost the part of ' will suffer if you tell ‘, now it also applies to you"

Jace raised his hands. “My lips are sealed.”

“Glad to hear it.” Isabelle Jace left with his sandwich and went to his room, forgetting about the strange behavior of his brother. She had an appointment to plan.

3:11 p.m.

155, Sabrina.

156, Rowan (female).

157, Rowan (man).

158, Erik

159, that girl who bought me coffee at Starbucks.

160, Another Katie… again

3:59 p.m.

"Okay, let me see all this again to see if I understood well”

“Ok.”

“Magnus slept with twenty thousand eight hundred fifty-seven people before you.”

“Right.”

“Besides you.”

“It is.”

“And you just go sleep with him.”

“Yep.”

"So this difference of twenty thousand eight hundred fifty-six people bothering you.”

"It's just about that, yes.”

Maia takes the top of her coffee cup, releasing a cloud of vapor in air. “And I thought I had weird problems.”

She had a good day so far. Sure, Simon went out tonight with Isabelle instead of her - again - but there was no hunter psychopath Shadows behind his blood, the coven that had dangerously installed near the old police station was not instigated by this time, and Luke had a really good mood since he had paired with Clary 's mother , so things were going pretty well .

He had gone for a walk an hour ago with the hope of accidentally “finding that” vampire. Such things always work in movies. HOWEVER, it did not work with her, because she not only gets to Simon, she had also received a call from an enigmatic Alec. She could not understand what was rambling because at that speed when he spoke all his words were mixed , but had said he would buy him coffee if she came and kicked his head a few times . Free coffee and kick people was always a plus.

Maia was not sure how they both ended up being friends - was one of those things that just happened, and when you finally realized there was no turning back. Anyway she had not wanted to (come back). Was not every girl's dream to have a gay best friend? Well, maybe he had not received the “Typical gay best friend” since Alec was as far from an extravagant person and she doubted he would be able to tell you if your costume impress Simon because he had never seen wear anything that was not black (or dark enough to be considered black) But who cared? He was sweet in a way socially awkward and inept, and quite sane, and that was enough for her.

However, Maia was far from a good counselor about relationships, and that went far beyond their usual response ' to talk about it, and if it fails, it will bite for you.' “Well ... well, I dunno what you want me to do" She said as she blew her coffee.

"I didn’t want you to do something. I just needed someone who I can complain about. “Alec was sitting opposite her, mechanically peeling a tangerine.” Wait, yes, yes I want. I want you to hit me in the head repeatedly, remember? "

Maia took a walk outside in the hall, and looked at his shoes. "Um ... I do not know. I'm wearing combat boots. Your skull will probably collapse after the third kick or something. Would be dirty and the waitress is already watching. What is your problem? "

“I always come here and never ask for anything.”

“Oh.” Maia had opened a packet of sugar and it was pouring into your cup when she had an idea.

"Wait, I thought of something.” She took Alec’s napkin, searched his pockets, and frowned when she noticed they were empty. "Do you have a pencil?”

Alec reached into his backpack and pulled one on the table. It was pink with small bright stars all around. Maia raised her eyebrows at him. "Magnus borrows my things, and as he thinks I do not notice is returning something different," Alec said, sounding more affectionate than irritated.

"You two are weird.” Maia took the pen, scribbled on a napkin to make it work - heck, even bright pink writing - and got to work.

“Usually " said triumphantly a few minutes later, putting the pencil on the table.”I have a solution. “Alec rested his chin in his hand and looked at those bright blue eyes. Maybe - Maia thought - it was true what they said, that all really handsome men were gay. Or dangerous sociopaths. Except Simon, obviously. “Now, you’re eighteen, and he ... eight hundred, right?”

"About.”

"Yes. Well, I have found that - for a period of eighteen years of his life, Magnus slept with four hundred seventy people “Maia continued.

She smiled. Alec did not look impressed. “Don’t you get this taking seriously, right?"

"Not at all.” Maia crumpled napkin and tossed it gently. He caught it in the air, of course. Damn Shadowhunters and reflexes. “Look, if you really want my opinion ... I think you're overreacting.”

“I know I'm overreacting.” He smoothed the napkin and threw a handful of tangerine peels on it

.

“Ok, so now you have to get over it.”

"It's easier said than done.”

Sitting in the cheap vinyl seat, Maia watched Alec boot tangerine slices. “If you only intend to use for their artistic merit, better give it to me. I didn’t eat anything at lunch. "

“I’ll give you half.”

"Deal.” She took the slices he betrayed her and bit one, sipping the juice inside. “So is there anything besides topic ' my boyfriend used to be a prostitute '?”

Alec groaned and buried his face in his arms. He decided to take that as a yes. "Am I that transparent?”

“Yep.”

" ... Apparently ... I suck in bed. "

Maia stopped with a piece of tangerine two inches from his mouth, “Wait, did he really say that?”

"It was more like something about me being among the ' better half of twenty thousand, but ... " waved lethargically and dug his fingers into her hair.

“So do you think that he’s going to leave you for a better fuck?”

"Please stop doing that all my problems sound stupid.”

"I did not do it," she said. "I think now you have a legitimate complaint. At least I could have lied or something. "

Alec sighed, he sat down and gets the bridge of his nose rubbed, closing his eyes, “He’s not lying when he's drunk. I should not even have asked. “He looked so helpless that Maia was tempted to get up and hug him, except that she was not the type of person who gives hugs. Instead, he settled for stroking his arm

“Unfortunately, I cannot really help you with that ... but if you want to get experience really fast, you could throw four hundred and seventy people sleep. “Suggested.

Alec’s expression did not change, but thought she saw that his left eye was shaking a little. “I’m going to throw something.”

Maia laughed and raised his hands in a gesture of surrender. “I get it. I have to go, I was supposed to meet a couple of guys from the pack and make sure that vampires are kept out of our territory ... about fifteen minutes ago. But let me know as it all right? And remember that I can bite if you need me to. "

“Thanks, I think.”

"No problem .Thanks for the coffee!”She took the cup and went to the door, throwing a dazzling smile as she left the waitress. Then she thought of something and put his head back. "Hey," she called. Alec looked up from the salt with which he was playing. “If you decide to sleep with four hundred seventy people, it is best to start as soon as possible. Going to take a while”

The bus driver gave him a strange look when Maia, probably rose because it was completely covered with salt. She did not care. It was worth it.

7:18 p.m.

For lack of anything better to do, and because he would not sleep with four hundred seventy - people did not even know well enough to twenty people to want to sleep with them - Alec went home and got into bed.

The dream continued to elude him dancing out of reach and singing “Nyah nyah nyah “. He could hear the voices of Jace and Clary in the next room. He had pulled the pillow over his head when the sounds of romantic happiness began to be unbearable - it was like adding salt to the wound.

Maia was right, he thought, he should really return to Magnus department, apologizing for being immature and could get things going again. Magnus did not even remember having said it was not as good in bed. If you pulled that out of his mind, it would be as if it never happened.

However, that meant that Magnus had slept with almost ten thousand people who were better than him.

Alec cursed, kicked the mattress, and let Maia wished he ripped his skull kicked.

9:01 p.m.

The initially blank sheet of Magnus was now covered with names, dates, details, notes, arrows, occasional rude epithet and lots of doodles.

After Gareth, had seven " Sarahs " - he had done with Sarah # 1 and then had gone to the other six, and so did not have to worry about the name that was screaming - then someone in the back of the club, girl named Janice or Clarice ... Magnus turned it over to the paper only to find that the door was also a jumble of words and doodles. Oh, and the werewolf who had been cured. The werewolf had been so proud to drive away the two vampires who followed one of the younger members of the herd he had not noticed that he had an arm torn off during the fight. A very attractive man, even when semi-conscious and covered in blood.

It had been a while since he had retired Chairman Meow the windowsill to watch. Looked like a feline fun now Magnus murmured softly, pulling his hair, and scoring 'Daniel ' in the last empty space on the page. Magnus really did not remember if Daniel had slept with or not, but he would have if I had the opportunity and sometimes both had been drunk at the same parties, so he had counted on your list.

“Meow?”

“I know, I know.” Magnus sighed; he put the pencil on the table and rubbed his temples. He had spent all day doing that and he only made ​​it to about three hundred people and the knowledge that it was something like a bitch. Sure, twenty thousand for it did not look like much really , especially when he had two or three couples to month, but had a lot of names in that role. He was beginning to see that Alec was so angry. "Do not look at me like I know I am a fan of casual sex, living for eight hundred, it gets lonely after a while . . . " In fact, half the time not even been preoccupied with sex - he had simply wanted company. Now that he had finally found what he has been looking for, twenty thousand, eight hundred fifty -seven people made ​​him look like that or were or were pathetically alone, or were a sexual predator.

He crumpled the list until it becomes a ball. Chairman Meow’s head rose to the sound of paper promising to wrinkle. "You want the ball sweetly? Go get it! “Magnus threw the paper ball into the hallway. Chairman Meow was launched outside the windowsill, skidded across the floor, turned the corner so strong that almost stamped on the wall, and ran down the hall as a Mach 5 (auto racing). “Little things amuse little minds.” Magnus murmured fondly.

After a few minutes of introspection, Magnus decided that the best course of action was to call Alec, apologize for being insensitive, apologizing for anything else he could have said to offend him, and hopefully could get through this. First , he thought he needed to take a shower - not a rush job as of this morning , a proper , relaxing shower with conditioner and moisturizing , and necessary things like that. Then do what he has to do.

Finally, he didn’t have to do nothing - even a minute after he got out of the shower there was a knock on his door.

"Always when I'm not dressed ... " muttered Magnus, standing the same pair of pants.

It also placed a shirt, in case you need look vaguely professional, and went to open the door.

9:45 pm

"Look, I don’t wanna asleep with four hundred seventy people so we can be the same again!”

The words had more meaning in his mind, before he said them.

Magnus opened and closed his mouth a few times. He raised a finger as if to make a point, then down, shook his head and said, “What?” Even Alec could say a word, he spoke again, “What the hell are you talking about?”

Alec sighed and pushed his hair out of your eyes. "Really, I have no idea.”

“Neither I. “Magnus looked at him for about minutes.”You're soaked. "

“It’s raining.”

"I see. Okay, I go. “The warlock took him by the elbow, pulled him inside and closed the door. Alec was almost immediately beset by the cat, which was carrying a ball of crumpled paper into his mouth and looked very pleased with him. He dropped the ball at the feet of Alec and back, as you would a puppy that wants to play a ' launch and bring ‘. Magnus got the improvised before Alec could and threw the kitchen "Never mind that."

Alec was dragged down the hall, dropped unceremoniously on the mattress and said "Just wait a minute” while Magnus ' spinning ' in the bathroom. Knowing the definition of a minute Magnus could vary from ten seconds to three hours; Alec slumped against the pillows and closed his eyes. He was so tired. He would not be able to sleep until he resolves this.

“Done.” The warlock was back, hair still wet but no longer stuck in thirteen different directions. He sat next to Alec, with a nail file in hand, and began to critically inspect his fingernails. “So what exactly those were there, and why not just get in?”

"I lost my key” Alec said, avoiding the first question on purpose.

“Again?” Magnus sighed. "I swear, I'll screw that thing on your forehead.”

Instead of asking as he expected him to use a key that was stuck to his forehead, as he was tempted to do, he said “You might be on the counter in the bathroom. With my contact lenses. “Ninety percent of the things that had been lost in the last five months had appeared on Magnus bathroom counter. He had even found his boots there once, though he suspected that Magnus had put there to prove a point (show something). What Jace had once said about Alec had the attention of a piece of bread was probably correct.

The awkward silence stretched on them, the only sound he had was scraping fingernails against Magnus. The noise was exasperating the nerves of Alec. Magnus was probably doing it on purpose so he would fall first and tell her what was wrong. Well, he was not going to give up. Magnus could go and file your nails all night if he wanted.

To his surprise, right after that he thought would take and throw the damn file through the window, Magnus stopped abruptly and said, " Listen, I do not know exactly how to apologize for sleeping with so many people before I met you - " There was a subtle emphasis in these last words, as if to say ' so it's not like I was cheating.” “- But I'm sorry for my lack of tact about it I did not realize that the issue bothers you so much. . .”

Alec had a sudden impulse to laugh, but did not know why - maybe because Magnus had the impression that he was still engaged with it , maybe because it was a little bit right. "I'm not mad about it! Do not care if you slept with twenty thousand people before me! , I mean, it sounds a bit excessive, but I'm really not in a position to judge, so I can move on. I’m just apparently upset because you been with about ten thousand people who are better in bed than me! “Finally, he had said. He said it, and sounded ridiculous and Magnus was looking like he'd sprouted another pair of arms. He pressed the palms of his hands against his eyes, he laced his fingers through his hair, and muttered, "This is the part where you lie and say you do not care.”

There was a soft fwump when Magnus dropped down on the bed (elegantly, Alec admitted he did everything beautifully). “I do not care," he replied.

“Liar.”

There was another awkward pause; this was less uncomfortable and miserable. Alec was beginning to wonder how it was that had come to apologize for exaggerating and instead ended up being irrational about this whole thing when Magnus suddenly grabbed the front of his vest said "Come here" and pulled.

If Alec had been waiting for that, there would be no way that Magnus had been able to move it. A sorcerer used to using magic to lifting heavier things had very little chance of moving sixty-eight kilos of dead weight. But Alec caught him off guard (and was used to this deal), so he moved him, turning the legs while landing on a, no doubt, sensual position above Magnus.

The warlock smiled and Alec immediately decided that if Magnus would try to avoid this by being pretty and seductive, as he had done the night before, it would not work.

... Good. Not much. If he did not get away with it this time.

Luckily Magnus seemed to have less than honorable intentions, because he only wrapped his arms around Alec’s back to keep him there and said, “I told you I had ten thousand people who were better in bed than you?”

“You told me I was in the ' better half of twenty thousand ‘, “Alec said. He was absolutely sure those were the exact words, as he had been repeating in his head for about seventeen hours.

Magnus’s smile melted into a look of confusion. "And ... that's a bad thing?” Alec's expression must have warned that the answer was a resounding ‘yes’, so he said, "There it is, if you think about it. No I specified in that part of the top ten thousand were , and even if you were in background - with no intention of a pun - that still means that there are ten thousand people worse than you, Like Tim for example, you had no idea , you should ask me about that sometime or maybe not Stop frowning . . . . Frown that way; you're going to get you out wrinkles. Anyway, you learn fast enough. And do not have a gag reflex ... that puts you at the top of the list. Likes that. "

“So I've heard “Alec said dryly, resting his chin on his hand, not caring if his elbow was buried in the ribcage of Magnus. This was easily the weirdest conversation he had ever had with anyone, but strangely was less uncomfortable than he had thought it would.

“If you're worried about the effects this has on our relationship - . Well, first of all, do not have one , and second , I was not lying when I said I did not care could decide tomorrow to be completely celibate , and while I would very sad , would not change anything because I'm not in it for the sex . This, I might add, is excellent. "

“Do you even notes that are as mixed signals are sending me?”

“You do not understand it, honey.” Magnus let Alec go, only to have his face with his hands and pull his head down so their foreheads touched. Alec strongly recalled the previous night, where Magnus had done almost the same and said that he could see his contact lenses. Even without them (really should get up and putting them on, squinting at all gave him a big headache) were so close together that the image of the face of Magnus was thrown with great clarity. Alec studied him for a moment and decided there had to be some kind of law against being so amazing.

Then Magnus began to talk again, breaking his concentration. " How good or bad you are in bed compared to twenty thousand eight hundred fifty-seven people, mostly random , does not matter. Nobody else can make me as happy as I am with you right now, because I love you. "

Alec fell observing him. Magnus told him he loved him frequently (last night had come to tell forty-nine times before passing out), but he hadn’t heard speak so seriously from the first time when both had been covered in ash demon and minutes from having to fight for their lives. Had failed to answer that time, and did not know now.

Magnus soon saved from having to find an answer, he smiled brightly once again, kissed him, and said, “Are you okay?”

It was really good to ruin the moment, Alec thought. “Do you take all your “keys” from romantic teenager’s dramas?

Magnus gave him a tap on the side of the head. “No sincere confessions trivialize my feelings”

After a moment, Alec rolled over himself and sat up, looking out the window. “Well, now I feel like an idiot," he muttered, running his fingers through his damp hair. Actually he had felt like an idiot from half past seven, Maia had done nothing to alleviate exactly, and now he found that his concerns had been completely invalid and had been complicated by anything, just because it had more pride that I could handle.

“Oh, do not.” Magnus gently tugged the hem of his jacket, then slid his hand down the shirt and stroked his back. “If you had told me that I was terrible in bed, I'd be cranky and with a crown of ' drama queen ' in the head. You just yelled at me once. I'm shocked. "

“That’s not really helping.”

"Sorry, love. Want to fix it? "

Alec was not really paying attention, so he did not record the implications behind that comment, and said, “Sure, go ahead. “Without thinking. It was for this reason that Magnus moaned in surprise as completely pounced on him, leaving him leaning back on the mattress. "Hey, what and -”

Then he stopped, because he had something better to do with his mouth to speak.

10:56 p.m.

"Why the hell did not stay in bed?”

"I guess it's because both lack common sense.”

“I agree.” Alec nodded as far as he could and watched television. “Oh, look, its over.” A fuzzy set credit moved across the screen, from top to bottom (upside down).

“Really? Was not paying attention. "

“Neither do I. This was a terrible idea. "

“I know, I know. Accept the blame. We will not do this anymore. "

"Well," Alec said. He pulled the sleeves of his shirt down - well, it was not really him , had taken the first garment he could find and thought that this was a red hooded shirt that belonged to Magnus . Alec was pretty sure that the pants were also from his warlock, judging from the scattered patches of sheen, but clothes were clothes. "Seriously, why we did this?”. It had a little too involved with each other (in the rather rough carpet living room, unfortunately) and had completely lost the show. Do not remember the name - was that the doctor who addict , Alec thought , was like Jace would be at thirty - or the plot, or most of the characters, as he had enough trouble in his own life without worrying about fifteen other fictitious people. Although it was a nice distraction.

They had distracted her distraction. That was definitely their first time.

Magnus sighed contentedly and stretched his arms above his head. Alec took the opportunity to snuggle into his side, placing his head on the shoulder of the warlock. "So,” Magnus said,” when you said you did not want to sleep with four hundred seventy people, on what you were talking about? "

“Oh, I was complaining to Maia and somehow found out you slept with that many people in eighteen years, and I should do the same so we were up to par. “Magnus raised an eyebrow, and Alec said, "Yeah, not going back to her for advice.”

" I would not either . " the warlock was silent for a minute, absently winding strands of Alec’s hair in his fingers – he had been absolutely in love when he discovered Alec’s hair gets curled when it’s wet and kept fiddling with Alec got fed up . Now he let the clutter to a minimum and just played. “One more thing about last night? - We were talking about marshmallows? I remember vividly saying something about marshmallows, but I cannot remember what it was. "

“The marshmallows make everything better.”

Magnus snapped his fingers, sending a burst of neon-blue sparks in the air. “That was it.” He paused, and then said, "I thought it was the chocolate that was made ​​everything better.”

“I’m allergic to chocolate.”

When Magnus not instantly gave a witty reply, Alec glanced at him and found him speechless. "Did you really?”

“Yes ... “Alec said slowly, unsure of why it was a big problem.

Magnus shook his head and ran his fingers through his hair Alec again. “I did not know that.”

“I did not know you had slept with twenty thousand eight hundred fifty-seven know people before.”

"By definition ... twenty thousand, eight hundred fifty-six.”

Alec looked up again to see Magnus looking very strongly at the ceiling. " ... I'm going to assume that you have a very good explanation for this and that is why I brought it up. "

"In fact, I do. Was right after that party I had where we met , and not only were scarcely known , and that only were seventeen and I do not want any scary family member behind my blood , so do not can reproach "

“Of course I cannot," Alec muttered, but did not press the matter. Magnus was still stroking his hair and was having a lulling effect.

“Are you really allergic to chocolate?”

Alec rolled his eyes. "Yes, really.”

"Great,” snorted Magnus, “there are about fourteen of my fantasies going. "

“Fourteen? Have a numbered list or something? "

“Indeed.” Grimacing in pain, Magnus rubbed his knee. "Really we should not have done this.”

“Do not complain, I got burns all over the carpet.”

“Almost all burns to carpet. Anyway, following with the whole lesson ' should tell me about what you're mad if you do not know ‘, you should also tell me if I accidentally kill an innocent little confections. "

“Do not kill me, just make me sick. You’re Paranoid sometimes. “Alec yawned and put an arm on Magnus stomach. Usually it was not in favor of sleeping on the floor (although Magnus said he actually did quite often), except that it was flat, horizontal, and that was all he needed at the time,

"Wait. Is there anything else that I do not? "

Alec thought about it for minute. "When we were thirteen, with Jace stole a motorcycle vampire.”

“It was not just that what I meant.”

“And we crashed. On a brick wall, actually. Neither handled the iratzes yet, but a snowball going to have a long and fulfilling life in hell before telling Robert and Maryse what we had been doing, so both carry scars from that little accident. "

“I see.” Magnus sounded fun. He was still playing with Alec’s hair, probably leaving it in spikes, as indicated soft pulls up. Alec pressed his cheek even in soft jersey fabric Magnus and tried to figure out when exactly had closed eyes. “There was some leather involved?”

“We were thirteen. Do not be creepy. How the last twenty thousand people were with you? "

“I’m sexy and seductive. That was enough for most of them. "

“Oh.” There was more conversation (even if that sounded ridiculous) to have. However, the dream moved along the edge of his consciousness and was tantalizingly signs. You should come here, was saying. It is silent. And no talks. Only sleep. Sleeping really not that crap you've been doing all week. What the hell is wrong with you? , Were you trying to break some kind of record for staying awake?

“Alec?”

As if he could talk, Alec said. It's not like you showed up when I needed you. What do you think I pay you?

You do not pay me. I'm doing this out of the goodness of my heart. And, hey, I'm not the one having a conversation with a figment of my subconscious. Now pay attention, your boyfriend is being affectionate.

Alec felt Magnus lips pressed against his forehead, he reached to hear him murmuring, “Good night love" and then finally fell asleep.

NP: Let her Go - Passenger.

1:45 am